I Gaslit My Depression by Listening to Only ABBA For A Week

+ a manic hair change

Mar 05, 2022

Hi guys. I want to hug you all.

I’ve been feeling a *little* weird this week (hence dying my hair red).

I love sad music more than anything. It’s all I ever want to listen to. However I do understand that when I feel sad, I’m not helping myself by fueling the fire and only listening to songs in D minor key.

I watched Mama Mia on the plane on Monday and was left feeling SO light and elated I felt like I’d never be sad again!!!! So I decided to only listen to ABBA songs for the rest of the week.

Tuesday was funny because I actually got into my car crying, and blasted ‘Dancing Queen’. So I’m just like….driving on the freeway with the windows down SOBBING with “FEEL THE BEAT FROM THE TAMBOURINE OHHHH YEAAAHHHHHH!!!!” lol. I am such a mess.

Anyways this kind of worked for the rest of the week! Even if I didn’t feel like it, I put on an ABBA song in the car or in my head phones and I just kind of stopped feeling sad. I felt fucking psycho, but not sad.

As I’m writing this I’m thinking “yeah NO SHIT Bailey. Oh what a *REVELATION*…you feel happier when listening to disco and you feel sad when someone is describing their most painful feelings while softly strumming a guitar.

It’s not that simple, I know. Some of the saddest songs are also dance songs (see Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance with Somebody’). And I can literally pregame a night out listening to Phoebe Bridgers ‘Punisher’ and feel ready to take on the world. I think when I’m in a vulnerable place though, I should help myself by keeping it light.

Ehh—I’m gonna keep listening to sad music. It’s just better.